Don't Ever Buckle to Pain

-

 Over Pain


It hurts.

It’s like a thousand pins and needles strangling me from all ends.

Every part of me aches.

I keep crying and crying but it won’t go away,

Just temporarily slips away before round 2.

My knees are quivering.

My bones are brittle and eroded.

I’ve been chastised for far too long to be able to feel pain,

But it beats louder inside of me, louder than my heart beat,

Louder than the echoes of an orchestra band,

Beating away through the night.

I’m scared.

I feel like throwing up.

Everywhere I go it feels like I’m being watched,

Every time I want someone to watch me,

There is no one.

Everyone always says I’m being dramatic,

I’m overthinking it.

I should just suck it up and move on.

But I can’t.

I need someone, something, some way to hold onto what isn’t this creaky guard rail called hope.

I feel pain, and I don’t care if it's less than that of the ones around me.

I want to breathe. Just let me breathe.


It was this how so many others felt around me, feel around me each and every day. So what can we do?


Breathe.

Don’t let the things that aren’t,

Building you up,

Making you stronger,

Helping you,

Healing you,

Be the things that,

Cut you down,

Weaken you,

Hurt you,

And make you feel like you're worthless.

Face the fear and the pain that you are feeling and

Cry those tears and

Wince and flinch and

Scream out the feelings which were once confined.

Go roar like a lion and howl like the devil.

Go pummel down the pain in you like it's your mightiest foe,

Because it is,

To be able to stand firm after it all and say that you beat it,

Is the greatest feeling of them all.

But to beat it you must first accept it,

 in all its inglorious fervor,

And ugly ways tainted on you.

No boxer stood victorious that didn’t stand at all.

No military man with a bullet gouged 4 inches deep,

Gave a talk to his grandchildren 50 years later,

About how he was shot with a bullet gouged 4 inches deep,

Unless he accepted that bullet gouged 4 inches deep,

And screamed out in pain and felt like he would die,

Before standing back up and fighting for his life.

So breathe.

Breathe deeper, faster, stronger, farther

Than the pain rooted in you travels so,

And prop a smile on your face,

Even if you don’t believe in it,

Even if it pulverizes every joint in your cheeks,

Because even with the pain, everything can still be okay,

If you make it happen that way,

And make it so that the pain,

Can finally have an opponent worth fighting,

The match of the century,

The math where I show them…


I’m over pain.

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