Well... You Tried

 Last Lines

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“This way is more efficient.”

“This way is also going to get us killed.”

“Not if we’re smart about it. The greatest of masterminds don’t prattle about the safe and the sound. They take risks. And we are gonna have to do so as well unless you want our skeletons corroding here after the 30 years it will take to do things your way.”

“Suit yourself David. That reckless attitude will get the grin expunged from your face by the high tech lasers these guards have. Did you see what they did to Bella when they caught her taking seconds? She better have enjoyed that extra share because it was the last meal she’d ever had.” Jessica’s disapproving eyebrows were caterpillars wiggling at David, disrupting his mental flow and ceasing to relieve the pressure that came with this operation.

“Bella had it coming for her, that little-“ he mumbled tempestuously, but deep down he knew she was right.

“Here, take this crowbar,” he commanded, “I stored it away beneath this drawer. We’re going to break out of this hell house, and single-handedly take out this entire system with it. Here! Hand me that plier. I think I can man these bars well enough to squeeze in.”

“Sshhh!” Jessica admonished apprehensively, “it’s the middle of the night, and these guys have ears as sharp as their slaughter-blades. Do you want to get us killed? Work silently and quickly, and we might be able to make it past this hallway. Then, we have to crawl through the vent up ahead, it will be tight but I might be able to squeeze you through, and we have to crawl out through the behemoth of severed skulls. You got that?” Jessica spoke with authority in her voice.

“Yeah, yeah. You cover the brains, I got the brawns. That’s why we make such a stellar team. Now come on, let’s move.”

“Alright, I snuck some butter from lunch, so we can use it to slip through the gap.”

“Sweet! Let’s hurtle down the hallway now. See those big cardboard boxes next to the knight statue? I will heave you up through there and you can wedge yourself through the recess. You got it?”

“Yes, now hold your tongue before it wraps us up in a mess. Here, hoist me up!”

“Got it, can you give me a hand? It’s almost dawn, the clock’s ticking vexatiously, and people are starting to stir!”

“Your hands are perspiring to no end! I can’t seem to get a solid grip. Crunch your finger up like a paper napkin and keep a firm grip. Come on, tighter!” Panic rose in Jessica’s voice as David’s hands made the Niagara Falls feel parched. Suddenly, David, his neon eyes pleading with fate and his flimsy arms vibrating like an Earthquake, slammed to the ground with a prestigious thud.

“Ow! Shoot, that was unnecessarily sonorous! I hope no one heard tha-“ David stopped mid sentence, not from fear, but from a sudden inability to converse. His pupils dilated to the right, the crimson nerves adorning his eyes like lightning burning through his sclera. 

“N-no, please don’t shoot. I have a wife, and a family! They live in Ohio, kill them instead! Please, my friend is up there, exterminate her first, just please don’t dispatch me. Pl-“ Once again cut off mid-sentence, David now not only had a loss for words, but with his brains oozing out from the flat side of his cerebrum, he had a more cumbersome loss to worry about.

“David no! You heinous spalpeen, how dare you kill my friend!  Allow me to return the favor!” But as Jessica leaped from her hole and spiraled herself midair, she too, had a bullet put through her skull.

“That’s another two down sir, another two down. Take them to the perdition sir, and burn their bodies,” a broad sinewy man adorned in a jet black suit shifted his radio back into his pocket and left without a glance.